Friday, August 17, 2012

Why the Girl-On-Girl Crime?

When AGP began formulating this fourteenth season of Big Brother, complete with four controversial former players, I bet they never imagined that the most talked about contestant would be a “Southern Belle” from Alabama. But just visit any Big Brother Blog, Website, Facebook Group, and you will likely see a growing pattern of post after post dedicated to Danielle Murphree. It doesn’t just stop there either, AGP themselves have cashed in on it with their “stalker” innuendo delivered by the Zingbot. And if you thought you could expect the same type of generally unbiased commentary that we’ve had in season’s past on the live SuperPass shows, think again. Missy, Ellen, and Spicy have all boarded the Danielle HateExpress.

The other pattern, which is unfortunately extremely prominent, is that these posts are dedicated to the poster’s hatred for her. It’s not just hatred it’s a combination of every word used to define hate wrapped into one.


Hate  [heyt]
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: extreme dislike
Synonyms: abhorrence, abomination, anathema, animosity, animus, antagonism, antipathy, aversion, black beast, bother, bugbear, bĂȘte noire, detestation, disgust, enmity, execration, frost*, grievance, gripe, hatred, horror, hostility, ill will, irritant, loathing, malevolence, malignity, mislike, nasty look, no love lost, nuisance, objection, odium, pain, rancor, rankling, repugnance, repulsion, resentment, revenge, revulsion, scorn, spite, trouble, venom
Notes: hate means to 'dislike intensely, loathe' and despise means 'look down on contemptuously'

When I read this definition, I can think of very few people I’ve encountered in my life that I would attribute this word to. And I certainly couldn’t attribute it to a contestant on a reality television show that I will likely never ever meet. But this hasn’t stopped “haters” from pouring out in droves to voice their extreme hatred towards Danielle. And what has completely baffled me is that a very high percentage of these people have been women. Women banding together with other women to collectively hate another woman.

The things I have read have been terrible. She’s been called a bunny-boiler. Delusional. Stalker. Vain. Liar. The Zingbot said Shane was going to get a restraining order against her. For someone who is supposedly being the stalkee, he certainly isn’t doing anything to send her a clear message that he’s not interested. That kiss after the first endurance comp of the season comes to mind. She’s been called a predator, social misfit, and human miscreant. She’s been disparaged for her weight and called fat. And I say this, if Danielle is fat, I’d love to see the funhouse mirrors that these people picking Danielle apart have in their homes.

As a man, how am I ever supposed to learn that it’s not okay to talk about a woman’s body size, her looks, her actions, her words, if everywhere I turn I read things that contradict that? Thankfully I grew up with a Mother and Father who instilled these values in me. But I worry about the ones who didn’t.

In a time where we have NOH8 and “It get’s better” campaigns, and celebrities speaking out against bullying, it’s astonishing to see that at least when it comes to some Big Brother fans, we have learned nothing. These monsters continue to sit behind their computer screens and perpetuate this hateful behavior. It seems to me that no amount of children hanging themselves in their closets because they would rather face death than the bullies at schools can reach them. No amount of teenage girls starving themselves to be thin can reach them? What about the ones that cut themselves privately in their bathrooms as a way to cope with the emotional pain that they are feeling? I know, these examples seem extreme, but are they? These children did these things because they were being bullied. What’s the difference?

There’s this excuse being bandied about that Danielle signed up for this when she agreed to go on a reality television show. And to this I say, “Really?” She signed up to have her personal life before the show to be spread out across the internet and dissected? She signed up for someone to post her Grandfather’s obituary online to prove that she doesn’t have a biological sister, ignoring the fact that she herself has said numerous times on the live feeds that this is her God-Sister? She signed up to have her body and weight scrutinized to the minute details of how long she spent in front of the mirror?

I was completely awestruck when I engaged someone on the topic of Danielle the other day to find that they were so annoyed with her looking at herself in the mirror for over an hour while she applied makeup. Annoyed? When there is typically another feed option that you could switch to, or even a commodity to a BB Superfan, and actually turn the feeds off and get something productive done for a change. But not only do people sit there and let themselves get annoyed with what she’s doing, but then take time out of their lives to post about it and analyze every single move she makes, from who she sits next to, to what face she makes to herself in the numerous mirrors in the house. And that only opens the door for more people to flock to the post and share their thoughts and opinions in support of this bullying. And don’t dare to be one of the few brave people that stand up and call this bullying what it is. Because then these monsters focus their attention on you. Some Facebook group admins would rather turn a blind eye to it rather than confront it head on. Some blog runners have adopted the mindset “If you can’t beat them join them.” And these attitudes only perpetuate the bullying.

At the beginning of this post I asked “Why?” Is it because of some kind of jealousy? Danielle is a very attractive female and in great shape. Is she that much of a threat to these people who will never meet her? As I’ve heard, there’s a lack of “eye candy” in the house this season, so are people mad that Danielle gravitated towards Shane? She’s 23 years old. I didn’t know who I was at 23, and I doubt Danielle does now. She’s still obviously trying to get comfortable in her own skin. She’s looking for acceptance from the people in her life, and for these three months, those people are her fellow houseguests. But outside of the house, there are people that are crucifying her for this. And to those people I say, “Shame on you.”

Finally, I will close with this Big Brother thought. Danielle is actually playing the game, and she made a big move, whether it was alliance motivated or not, when she took the power into her own hands and won HOH and the POV and made the choice to remove Janelle, whom she perceived as a threat mind you. When the game gets down to the Jury and the final two, countless BB forums hustle and bustle over wanting the jury to vote on game play. So why then I ask you, does Danielle get all this heat for being human, and someone like Ashley skates through in her Snow White fairytale to the end with only a back injury conspiracy?